Chicago Bulls: Branding new free agent guard Tomas Satoransky

The Chicago Bulls have been searching for a player to solidify their point guard position. Disappointed with the performance of Kris Dunn last year, they proceeded to draft Coby White, a star from North Carolina, and sign free agent  Tomas Satoransky. White has already been labeled by his trademark healthy head of hair. How can we brand Satoransky in a way that will distinguish him from the competition?

The Chicago Bulls big free agent acquisitions this off-season were Thad Young who they signed Day 1 and Tomas Satoransky who they acquired in a sign and trade on day 2. With Young, we know exactly what we are getting, a hard-nosed top-notch defender and rebounder who comes with a leadership mentality. Satoransky though is a developing story.

We already knew that his ability to play the 1-3 positions should provide more flexibility with the roster. Statistics tell us he is a solid ball handler, rebounder and all around efficient player.

In the 54 games he started last year, his per game averages of 10.67 points, 4.30 rebounds and 6.22 assists reflect his impact on a game. His smart decision-making is evident in that he only averaged 8.04 shots a game, 1.78 turnovers and only 2.37 fouls.

Clearly, the Chicago Bulls may have found themselves a gem. As Jason Patt points out in this piece for, Satornsky’s recent play for his home country Czech Republic in the FIBA World Cup was enlightening. Not only did he lead his underdog team to the quarter finals, but against Greece and NBA MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo, he almost put up the first triple-double in FIBA World Cup History.

Likewise, Jon Greenberg of the Athletic has written from Prague that in the Czech Republic, Satoransky’s fame is compared to LebRon James in the United States.  He even refers to him as “the pride of Prague”. It also turns out that while Americans call him “Sato”, Czechs refer to him as “Saty”.

Somehow, I don’t think those names will stick in Chicago, not with Stacey King at the mic. There has to be a better way of branding “The Satman”. How can we market his on court versatility and popularity back home, with the hope he brings to his new team the Chicago Bulls?

My gut tells me his nickname will tie into his Czech roots and the global marketing efforts of the NBA. I envision it will mirror his team oriented style of play and be something Chicagoans can relate to. “Sato” and “Saty” just don’t do it for me.

How about “the Pride of Prague” as Greenberg described him? Nah. That does nothing for Bulls fans.

“T-Sat” doesn’t seem right either, though it has a nice ring.  That first initial followed by the last name has been exhausted.

So I started thinking about the word “Czech”. Suddenly, Chicago nemesis Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rogers popped into my head, as did his irritating “discount double-check” commercials for State Farm Insurance. I realized then that Sato or Saty or Tomas Satornasky needs a State Farm commercial of his own doing the “Discount TRIPLE CZECH”.

I can already hear Stacey King when Satornasky hits his first game winner from 3.

“Discount Triple Czech! Drive home safely everybody. Beep Beep”.

Chicago, just like a good neighbor, you are in good hands with Tomas Satoransky.